


Friday Night Shenanigans

by Lily_Icerem, ObsydianDreamer



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Good quality crack, Humour, do not try this at home
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 02:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1412422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Icerem/pseuds/Lily_Icerem, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsydianDreamer/pseuds/ObsydianDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever wondered what the nations get up to after those exciting, although tedious, world meetings? It’s hard to explain, but it goes something like this... Crossdressed weddings, vodka and matches, an angry Canada, swimming pools and firetrucks and the First Lady’s parenting skills.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friday Night Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of our crack series, hope you enjoy~!

It was a late Friday afternoon, and the latest world meeting had just finished. For the past week, they’d been held in the US of A, and the nation’s personification, Alfred, had used it to his advantage, trying to convince the other nations how good his plan to defeat global warming with superheroes was. But as usual, the other nations just rolled their eyes and complained. It wasn’t their fault, Alfred knew; the other nations just couldn’t comprehend how awesome and heroic his plans were.

Standing outside the meeting room, Alfred watched as the nations slowly left. There was another week of meetings scheduled, but the nations were free to do whatever they wanted for the weekend. It was shaping up to be a boring weekend for the American; despite his best attempts to organise something, all the nations claimed that they already had plans. If it wasn’t paperwork, then it was spending time with family. England even made the completely lame excuse of having to go to a crochet class. What kind of man does that? It was definitely just an excuse to get America off his back... or was it? Alfred shook his head, clearing it from the thought. It wasn’t the time to think about something like that. The most important thing was to save himself from the soon-to-be inevitable boredom that loomed just around the corner.

Now, the only nations left were his old allies from the Second World War and some of the Axis, as well as Denmark. They were all doing their own thing. Germany was scolding Italy for being hungry again, saying that it had only been two hours since he ate. America disagreed with the German; two hours was _way_ too long. He was surprised that Italy had lasted that long before he complained. Alfred watched the two Asian countries talk. Kiku had said something that made China’s eyes sparkle with excitement and make a strange sound that America swore was inhuman when Japan had pulled out a soft toy from behind him, handing it to his older brother. China might be the oldest nation, but America couldn’t help but think that Yao was very, _very_ strange. Plush toys. It puzzled him greatly. France and Arthur were fighting over something... again. He felt a pang of something in his chest, but ignored it as it seemed to happen all the time. Then there was Ivan.The Russian was just staring at the others creepily; a normal occurrence. Alfred felt shivers go up his spine as Russia turned his eerie gaze towards him. The American gulped, forcing himself to look away. It didn’t really matter what the others were doing, what mattered was they were all ignoring him.The Hero! How could they?

Sighing in frustration and slight defeat, Alfred walked into the park adjacent to the meeting building. It was a small place, with green grass and a few trees, as well as a playground with a swingset, a slide, and one of those spinning rides, the ones with the seats and the bar in the middle.

Suddenly, he had a super amazing idea. Well, he thought it was super amazing. He rushed down to the play equipment, more specifically to the spinning ride, to see if his idea would work. Alfred looked at the base axle; it was cemented into the ground, and seemed to be in good condition. Standing up, Alfred spun it hard to check how well it worked. Satisfied with its quality, Alfred leapt on it and spun, enjoying for a moment the rush and dizziness it brought along with it. By that point, he was almost certain his idea would work.

“Aren’t you a little too old for play equipment, America?” Arthur asked, walking down to him from the meeting building. His arms were crossed, but he didn’t seem angry, or surprised for that matter.

Alfred jumped off the spinner, addressing Arthur before rushing off. “Stay here. I have an idea!”

“Oh God, this isn’t going to end well,” Arthur sighed, but Alfred ignored him, leaving the perplexed and worried island nation behind as he ran to the carpark.

Alfred knew he’d made the right decision when he had decided to take his motorcycle to the world meeting that morning. The bike was suitability painted in red, white and blue, and seemed to shine in the dying afternoon sun. Alfred started it up, the loud sound of the engine soon filling the air. Climbing onto it, he revved it before driving it into the park, up toward the playground.

By the time Alfred had reached the playground, the remaining nations had joined Arthur, crowding around to see what the hyperactive nation had thought up this time. Cutting off the engine, Alfred laid the motorcycle down on its side so that the back wheel was touching the axle of the spinning ride. Firing it up again, Alfred gave it just the tiniest bit of the bike’s power. As planned, the spinning ride began to spin.

“America, I know what you’re thinking,” Arthur said, horrified. “There is no way that that is safe.”

 Typical Arthur, always saying that his ideas were bad.

“Sure it is! I saw it on a Youtube video!” Alfred replied excitedly, as he tested his new idea again.

“A Youtube video? Oh well then, go right ahead! There’s no way that this could end badly!” Arthur muttered in a sarcastic tone that went right over Alfred’s head.

“Told ya so, Artie. So, anyway, who wants a go?” Alfred asked the group of assembled nations, revving the motorcycle.

Without a second thought, both Gilbert and Mathias volunteered, surging forward and taking their seat on the contraption.

“You actually had a good idea for once, America! This is going to be so awesome!” Gilbert exclaimed, before trying to coax Francis and Antonio to join him.

“I’m going to sit this one out,” Antonio said.

“I might try next time,” Francis agreed. Unbeknownst to Prussia, Spain and France had pulled out camera phones, intending to film to ensuing chaos. “Have fun, Prusse.”

“Ve, it does look like fun!” Italy decided, stepping forward. But before he could join the others on the upgraded spinning wheel, both Lovino and Ludwig stopped him.

“Nein, Italy,” Ludwig placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from moving any closer to the deadly contraption. “Anything that comes from Alfred is sure to cause harm to your health.”

“For once, I agree with the Potato Bastard,” Lovino said, begrudgingly. “Stay the fuck away from that thing, Fratello.”

“But why?” pouted Feliciano. “Everyone else is doing it. I want to join in too.”

Lovino scoffed. “Don’t be stupid, Veneziano. If that tomato bastard jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?”

Feliciano's eyes widened, “What do you mean, Romano? Why is big brother Spain jumping off a bridge?” Turning towards Antonio, Italy clutched at the Spaniard’s arms, and began to rant hysterically, “That’s dangerous, you could die! If you died then no one would give us those tomatoes that we use to make pasta. If I don’t eat pasta, then I’m going to die! Why, Fratello?! I don’t want to die. I’m too young. I’ve still got so much I haven’t done yet! I still haven’t tried those little rice balls that Japan said he’d make for me. Mr China hasn’t made me his special dumplings and-and.” At that point, Italy had broken down into tears, fearing for his own life; the original reason long forgotten.

Germany sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Italy, calm down. That’s not what your brother meant, Romano was merely giving an example of why you shouldn’t just do things because other people are doing it. People do stupid and dangerous things all the time, do not follow them blindly.”

“Really? So Spagna’s fine?” Italy asked, his eyes pleading for it to be true.

“Yes, Feli. Spagna’s going to be fine,” Ludwig repeated back to him in a slightly patronising tone, but Italy, being Italy, did not catch on to it and was relieved that he was not going to die. He hugged Germany to say thanks, making the German blush and turn his head away in hope that he could hide it.

“Okay!” Alfred called out. “Who else is going to go on? What about you two?” He asked, pointing to Elizaveta and Roderich.

“No, thank you,” Elizaveta replied politely.

Everyone turned to Austria expectantly, waiting for an answer.

“You’re all idiots,” Roderich stated bluntly. He nudged his glasses up his nose with his fingers and looked up with a cocky smile, “It makes me wonder how any of you managed to win any wars. Then again, some of you are more idiotic than the others. Maybe _that’s_ how.”

Clearly insulted, Gilbert scowled, before turning to Francis and Antonio. The two men nodded, completely understanding, and proceeded to grab Roderich from behind.

“Let go of me!” Roderich yelled as he struggled. But it was no use, the two other men were much stronger. They shoved him onto the contraption between Gilbert and Mathias, who held him in place.

There was no escape for Roderich. They were going to make him do it whether he liked it or not, and he did not like it like it at all.

Not too far away, Yao had been watching the ongoing mess from a bench with Japan. He sighed as he watched Austria being shoved about the dangerous apparatus by two other countries that forced the arrogant nation to stay on. As they struggled against each other, China couldn’t help but think that their positions were slightly inappropriate.

“That looks really wrong from this angle,” said Kiku openly.

“Aiyaa, don’t say that!”

His younger brother just smirked, “I was just saying what we were both thinking. Don’t act like you’re so innocent, Yao-san.”

China huffed, clutching at the Shinatty-chan doll that he had received earlier. “Western nations are so immature, aru,” he said loudly after another noisy uproar came from the main group.

“Hey Japan!” Alfred called out to the two Asian nations. “You gonna do it?”

“Ah, I don’t think that would be good idea, America-san,” Kiku stuttered. “I could fall off and break my back.”

“Okay,” Alfred replied. “Japan’s not going to do it, and China obviously won’t...”  

“What? Why wouldn’t I?” Yao asked suspiciously. He knew that the younger country was hinting something, and if Alfred treasured his life, it better not have been what Yao was thinking of.

“Sorry, China. I thought you’d be too old for this kind of stuff,” Alfred admitted.

“ _Old? Too old?!_ ,” Yao exclaimed. “I’ll have you know that I could beat you all at that little game of yours, none of you would stand a chance!”  

“Oh, come on, Yao,” reasoned Arthur calmly. “You know better than to let something like that drag you into it. Plus, are you sure you’re not too old for something like this?” the corner of his lip turned up slightly, teasing the Asian country.

Yao turned to face the Englishman with an angry frown on his face, but it turned into a sly smirk when he realised what he could do. “You’re just saying that because you can’t do it.”

“Of course I could do it,” Arthur exclaimed, fuming. “You know what I’m capable of!”

“Aiyaa,” Yao sighed lazily, “Maybe back in the day when you were still that notorious pirate, I’m sure you could do it, but it’s been a long time since then, ahen. I’m pretty sure that your skills must of have dulled, just like the blade of your sword has.”

“Ohh, Burn!” Alfred quipped.

“I’ll have you know that I train almost every morning,” retorted England, giving America an irritated glare.

“So do I, ahen,” scoffed China, “for the last four thousand years, actually, but here they are, saying that I’m old and that I am incapable of doing what they can do. Youngsters these days. If you’re so sure you can do it, ahen, why don’t you give it a try?”

Arthur breathed out heavily with a loud huff and crossed his arms, “No, I know what you’re trying to do. There is no way I’m going to let you prod me into it by your petty words. I do not need to prove myself  to you.” He closed his eyes smugly, turning his face up towards the sky.

“Oh really?” Alfred called back. “You guys always talk big but never do anything.”

Arthur’s eyes snapped opened and he stared at Alfred, “How dare you! Don’t you know any respect?”

“Why are you making so much of an effort to get away from this, ahen?” asked China. “Clearly you’re fighting it so much because you’re afraid that you’ll fall and make a fool out of yourself. Isn’t that right, Opium?”

“Yeah, England!” shouted Gilbert. “Why don’t you man up and grow a pair?”

Francis chuckled darkly, “You’d like to see that, wouldn’t you, Prusse?”

Gilbert stuck his tongue out at his friend in response.

Absolutely furious with the situation he’d been put in, Arthur made his way towards Yao, staring him in the eyes, “Alright then, if a competition is what you want, then a competition is what you’re going to get.”

“Sweet!” Alfred cheered, as he threw his fist up in the air triumphantly. He was thrilled that he’d managed to trick the two other nations into going onto the contraption. “This is going to be so cool!”

The other nations, however, were shocked that two of the more serious nations were about about to board America’s superspeed death contraption.

“Nii-san, are you sure you want to do this?” Kiku asked worriedly.

“Are you doubting my abilities too, aru?”

“No-” Kiku struggled to find an explanation, but was cut off.

“Good,” smiled Yao. “Then you can hold Shinatty-chan for me,” he handed (pushed) the cat plushy to his younger brother and made his way over to the wheel.

Arthur had already taken his seat, so Yao found himself a place opposite. They stared competitively into each other’s eyes, and Arthur started to smirk. “You’re going down,” Arthur promised.

“We’ll see about that, Opium,” Yao replied and smiled when his opponent scowled at the name.

Alfred started up his motorcycle, which revved noisily and caused the whole spinner to vibrate and shake. Roderich made one last attempt to flee, but Gilbert kept him stuck in place.

“Okay! Rules are simple,” Alfred yelled out over the sound of his motorcycle. “Last one left on wins!” At that moment, Alfred accelerated the bike, causing the contraption to spin.

Even Alfred was impressed with the instant velocity the spinner achieved. Within seconds it had gone from completely stationary to incredibly fast, turning the spinner and its riders into a blur. Looks ranging from concern to outright horror were on the other nation’s faces, and many began to back away from the contraption.

As for the nations actually on the superspeed spinner, it didn’t take long for them to start weakening; the forces and the dizziness taking their toll.

Now, Alfred had expected that when someone fell off the contraption, they’d simply hit the ground a few feet away from the machine and roll a bit. What actually happened, however, was completely different.

Austria was the first to go, surviving less than ten seconds on the upgraded spinner. The country, which had been wedged between Denmark and Prussia on the machine, was thrown from it with incredible force, flying twelve feet through the air before hitting the ground.

Everyone was shocked; the other nations stepped right back and others swore. Hungary ran over to check if Austria was okay, helping the shaking nation to stand up.

“Are you alright, Mr Austria?” Elizaveta asked quietly.

Roderich stumbled around, stepping back from Hungary. His face turned a sickly shade of green and he covered his mouth. Elizabeta started to walk forward but stopped when the Austrian man moved his other hand, warning her to stay back.

“Mr Austria?” Elizabeta questioned worriedly.

Roderich responded by throwing up all over his expensive designer shoes.

Meanwhile, Germany did his usual thing, turning into the sergeant of the Fun Police.

“STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!” Ludwig bellowed. “Before someone gets seriously hurt, or worse!”

Alfred responded by speeding up his motorcycle, spinning the contraption even faster. No way was he going to stop it; it was too awesome, and hilarious!

Mathias was the next to go. The personification of Denmark flew from the spinner, colliding full force into a tree, knocking entire branches of it. The nation rolled a bit in pain, but otherwise seemed fine.

Gilbert wasn’t far behind. The former nation was sucked out by the centrifugal force only a few seconds later, colliding with both Francis and Antonio, sending the three of them tumbling down a hill. They came to a stop in a ditch, all tangled together and disoriented.

“Someone’s on my hair! Get off! Get off!”

“I can’t, I think Gilbert’s on my jacket.”

“Ah! My fingers, I’ll get off your jacket if you get off my awesome fingers!”

The trio continued to accidentally (or not so accidentally) abuse each other while they tried to untangle themselves from the other two. It dragged on for longer than it really needed to be because each of them decided that revenge needed to be dished out on the others.

“Merde!” shouted France when they finally managed to unravel the mass of limbs. “Gilbert, I do not care what you do, but watch where you’re flying.”

Antonio rubbed his head and nodded, agreeing with Francis, “Yeah, friends don’t crash into each other!”

“Kesese!” Gilbert laughed, in spite of what the other two had said. “You’re both pansies. Let’s do that again! This time, I’ll stay on for longer, but even when I fall off, it will be epically awesome.”

Antonio and Francis both looked at each other, having a mental conversation. Nodding, they agreed on something and punched Prussia down on the head.

“Ouch!” Gilbert exclaimed in pain. “What was that for?” Neither of his friends replied, they both crossed their arms, looking smug. Gilbert pouted slightly at the other’s silence, but it gave them a chance to hear the battle that was going on between China and England.

Only Yao and Arthur were left on the spinning contraption, both wanting to win to prove to the other nation that they were better.

“I guess it’s just you and me then, Yao.”

“Yes, ahen, I didn’t expect you to last this long.”

Arthur growled in response, “Don’t mock me, China. I’ll beat you at this. Soon you’ll be flying off just like those other wankers.”

“Not before you do,” scoffed Yao.

“I can last just as long as you can.”

China laughed, “If so, then I think we’ll be here for a while, ahen.”

“Dudes, this is taking too long,” whined America. “I think it’s time to turn it up.” Alfred sped the motorcycle up again, to full speed.

Still both nations held on, even as the spinning wheel began to wobble and rotate on an uneven axis.

“You think you can handle this, Yao?” smirked Arthur. “You _are_ an old man.”

“Oh, don’t worry about me, ahen,” said China, not talking up Arthur’s taunt. “This is a waste of time, don’t you think? Why don’t you be that gentleman that you claim to be and let go so we can go and get on with more important things?”

“I’ll be a gentleman when you admit that you’re a girl!” scoffed Arthur.

“How dare you, ahen? When we get off this thing, you will pay!”

“All the more reason to stay on then,” laughed the Englishman.

Yao felt ready to leap across the deadly contraption of throttle the island nation, but calmed as he thought about the consequences of throwing himself across the moving wheel. He would most likely miss England, sail through the air at a high speed and hit something hard with his face.

The argument continued with insults and taunts but came to a halt as the sound of straining metal came from the potentially lethal contraption underneath their feet. Both nations on the wheel stopped everything and glanced down, then looked to each other; something was definitely not right.

A creaking sound soon followed, and then a snap, and both Arthur and Yao were thrown from the spinner at the same time.

The forces being generated had snapped the axle of the spinner, and with all the built up velocity the wheel rolled away, down through the park. It had turned into an unstoppable wheel of destruction.

The nations could do nothing, only watch and listen in horror as the wheel spun down the hill and onto an adjoining road. Car brakes screeched, one swerved with a painful sound, almost hitting a little old granny that just so happened to be walking on the street. Another car hit a tree, sending a flock of birds that had been residing in it to flee in fright, filling the air with at least a hundred birds. Disgusted screams of the civilians rang in their ears as the people were bombarded with large piles of bird poo. There was a loud crash, and then sirens and flashing red and blue lights instantly after.

God help them, it had hit a Police car.

The Police officers stepped out of their car, clearly not impressed by having their car totalled by an out of control upgraded spinning wheel. Noticing the large group of guilty-looking people at the top of the hill, they called in for back-up on their radios. Meanwhile, the assembled nations stood in silence, none of them quite sure what to do next.

The quiet was broken by a loud groan, which came from England. The island nation stumbled to his feet, reaching out to a tree for support.

“What just happened?” Arthur asked, still dazed from the spinning and the fall.

“Something very, _very_ bad,” Alfred replied, starting to panic. His President was going to be so pissed when he found out!

“Told you that would happen,” Arthur said smugly, a smirk on his face.

“There’s no time for ‘I told you so’s!” Alfred said, grabbing Arthur by the hand and pulling him onto the motorcycle. “We really need to get outta here!”

“I agree with America!” Gilbert called out. “Every man for himself!” And with that, the former nation fled, Francis and Antonio not far behind.

Kiku watched the other nations scatter with slight panic. Japan would have no trouble just plain disappearing from the crime scene, but first he would have had to find his brother. Still holding the doll that he had given Yao earlier that day, he called out China’s name.

“I’m here, aru!”

It gave Japan a shock when he found that Yao was just behind him, “Nii-san, don’t scare me like that.”

“I’m sorry, Kiku. I’m still being affected by the adrenaline from the competition,” China said, bouncing up and down. “It was fun, aru. You should have had a go too.”

“Ah, no, Yao-san. I don’t think that would have been a good idea.” Kiku handed the doll back to Yao, who hugged it to his chest immediately. Japan wondered how the older nation had so much energy sometimes. Yao might have been older, but there were times where Kiku felt that it was the other way around. “It’s time to go,” Japan said plainly.

“What about the others, aru?”

“I think they’re somewhere over there, but we can just leave, they left us here anyway. There’s not need to help them,” shrugged Kiku. Yao just nodded, and followed his younger brother, both nations disappearing from the site in seconds.

Only a few moments later, Alfred’s motorcycle sprang back to life, having recovered from its earlier abuse. The American started to drive away, with Arthur sitting behind him, his arms wrapped tightly around Alfred’s torso. It was clear that the older nation was still far too dizzy to be able to get anywhere himself.

“See ya later, guys!” Alfred called out, before taking off down the road on the motorcycle.

Ludwig sighed and rolled his eyes. It was just like America to start something and then leave the messy aftermath to someone else.

“Germany, Germany, aren’t we going to run as well?” asked Feli anxiously.

He rubbed his temples tiredly, “No, Italy.”

“But then we’ll get into trouble, Germany. Won’t Alfred’s boss be mad at us?”

“I doubt that, I’m pretty sure that he would know what comes from Alfred by now. This has America’s signature all over it,” Ludwig said, pointing to the chaos on the street. Italy nodded, agreeing to his words. There weren’t very many people left, Germany noticed. They must have fled, wanting to avoid any trouble. “Where’s your brother, Feliciano?”

“I think Fratello got dragged away by Antonio.”

“It’s so funny watching people panic, da?” Ivan chortled, finding the whole situation somehow amusing.

Italy and Germany turned around, one only slightly surprised while the other shivered in fright. They had not realised that Russia had been behind them..

“Ivan, you’re staying too?” asked Ludwig.

“Nyet, I just wanted to see that last of the panic,” said Russia, shaking his head. He that smile on his face; it made Feliciano shake in fear. “I will be going now. I think Mister Austria is over there, maybe you should help him up, da?” He pointed to where Roderich was and when the two turned around to face the Russian country again, Ivan had disappeared.

“So creepy,” shuddered Italy.

Germany ignored Feli who was rubbing his arms, trying to get rid of his goosebumps, and headed over the sickly looking, fallen man. “Where is Miss Hungary, Roderich?” he asked, helping still slightly green looking Austria up.

“I told her to run without me, she doesn’t need to get into trouble too.”

Slightly frustrated, Ludwig sighed. “Has everyone forgotten that we’re nations? We can’t be sent to jail for very long nowadays, even if they do want someone to take the blame, it would be Alfred who gets in trouble.”  

“I did not think of that,” admitted Austria shamefully.

“And neither did they, evidently,” said Ludwig. Looking around, he saw some people in blue heading towards them. “Let’s just talk to the Police, and sort everything out. Stay calm and don’t say anything stupid.”

“Ve~ here they come.”

Austria straightened up from Ludwig’s hold, and fixed up his suit. “The press are going to have a lot to talk about later, aren’t they?”

The other two nodded their heads thoughtfully.    


xxxXxxx 

_Tonight on Friday late night news!_

_“What started as a jackass-like stunt gone wrong has ended in a cross-state police chase earlier today. Bystanders watched as a large metal wheel rolled down a main road causing oncoming traffic to avoid it hazardously. An eighty-six year old woman was sent to hospital for minor injuries, after a car narrowly missed her when the incident occurred. Others were also hospitalised to have their eyes treated after bird droppings landed in them. This was caused by a flock of birds scattering in fright after a car hit a tree that they were residing in. Just over a dozen individuals were involved in the cause of the incident, three of which were arrested after attempting to flee the authorities.”_

_“Another three were taken in after they gave themselves up, but all six  were later released under unknown reasons just hours after. The Identities of the offenders are unknown, due to information being withheld by the authorities.”_


End file.
